


I Choose You

by lostin_space



Series: my 12 (actually 13) days of gifts [7]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Communication, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Miluca
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: "You love him.""Is it that obvious?""You aren't subtle."
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: my 12 (actually 13) days of gifts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569967
Comments: 29
Kudos: 143





	I Choose You

**Author's Note:**

> day 7 of my 12 (actually 13) days for anon:)

“You love him.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You aren’t subtle.”

Michael closed his eyes and tried to breathe. It wasn’t easy. He felt like there was something sitting on his chest and he was still desperately trying to find a way to remove it. Maria grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight before pulling him into a hug and squeezed his whole body. That seemed to make the weight a little less suffocating, but it didn’t remove it.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” Maria whispered, “But it’s okay that you didn’t. I know not everything is easy.”

That was the truest thing he’d ever heard. The main problem was that he hadn’t _realized_ just how badly he was struggling with not being with Alex until he saw him with someone else. It was stupid and unfair and childish, and yet he couldn’t help it. He felt like he was running out of time.

“You’re not mad at me?” he asked her.

“No,” she promised and squeezed him again.

Michael held on tight.

-

“You love him.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You aren’t subtle.”

Alex looked over to Forest who was frowning, picking at the frayed rip in his jeans. They were sitting on the couch that they had had sex on the night before. Now, in the same place, they couldn’t feel further apart.

“I knew he was your ex, but…” Forest said, sighing and shaking his head, “The minute you saw him with her, you grabbed onto me like you were purposely trying to make him jealous. I don’t want to be that. I’m not a prop.”

“I know you’re not a prop, I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” Alex said, bowing his head into his hands, “I never wanted that to happen.”

“You should’ve told me you weren’t over him.”

“Forest, I don’t think I’ll ever be over him,” Alex admitted, “But I have to try.”

“I wish you would’ve led with that instead of making me think you were completely emotionally available and then… shutting me out after I fell for you,” Forest sighed, bowing his head into his hands. Alex grimaced. 

“I like you, Forest, I want to be with you,” Alex said.

“But I’m a second choice.”

“No!” Alex protested, but the look on his face said otherwise. It wasn’t a secret that Michael came first. Michael always came first. “I don’t… I don’t want you to be a second choice. You’re worthy of being a first choice and I choose you.”

“And what happens when he chooses you?” Forest asked. Alex couldn’t even help but laugh.

“What? In what universe does that happen?” Alex laughed, shaking his head. He knew he sounded pathetic and clueless and he knew it because Forest looked at him like he felt bad for him.

“Every single one,” Forest informed him, “He loves you.”

“No, he chose Maria. You saw him.”

“I saw him staring at you like his world was over because you weren’t with him,” Forest pointed out. Alex didn’t believe him.

Forest didn’t seem to care if he did or not.

-

“I love you.”

“It’s not obvious to me.”

“I’m not subtle.”

Michael had many dreams of telling Alex he loved him. He imagined it would be romantic. He had not imagined that they’d be back to back in a jail cell. However, they’d gotten in a drunken screaming match in public, so this almost seemed inevitable.

“How the hell could I make it more obvious?” Michael asked. Alex sighed and his head tilted back just enough to rest on Michael’s. In this entire shitty evening at the end of a shitty month, this was the first thing to make him smile. “I love you. I miss you. I hate seeing you with other people. I just want to be with you.”

“You’re with Maria.”

“I’m not, we broke up. And the only reason I didn’t tell you was because you’re with Forest.”

“I’m not, we broke up.”

Michael squeezed his eyes shut. “So we fought for no reason?”

“You say it like it’s not very on brand for us,” Alex sighed. Michael leaned his head against Alex’s.

“Why is this so hard?” he whispered, “It shouldn’t be so hard to love you.”

“I don’t think it’s hard to love you. Hell, it’s the easiest thing in the world,” Alex admitted. Michael smiled helplessly but he wasn’t sure why he was getting his hopes up. “I just… I don’t know if I like you very much.”

“Ouch,” Michael whispered. But, honestly, he didn’t like himself very much either.

“I don’t like your decision-making skills. I don’t like how reckless you can be. I don’t like how you don’t take your life seriously. As much as I love you, I’m always scared to get close because I never, ever know if you’re for real or not. I never know when I can trust you or when you’re gonna flip your switch.”

“Alex…”

“But I do the same thing. We both have no idea how to navigate existing while also taking account of another human being,” Alex said, throwing his hands up. His head rolled and landed on Michael’s shoulder. They made eye contact as best they could in the awkward position.

“So what do we do?”

“We work at it.”

“You want to work at it?”

“I want that more than anything.”

-

“You love me.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You aren’t subtle.”

Alex bit down on his bottom lip as he watched Michael stroll in from the bathroom, wearing nothing but water. It was impossible not to have massive heart eyes on him. He was gorgeous. He was Alex’s. 

“C’mere.”

“I need to dry off.”

“No, you don’t.”

Alex pulled him close, hands sliding over slick skin. He pressed aimless kisses to his ribs and up to his collarbone and every place in between. Michael just stood there defenseless. He’d clearly resigned to a life of being kissed head to toe. Alex wasn’t going to argue.

“I love you,” Michael said, bowing his head and pressing a kiss to Alex’s head.

This was right. This made sense. This was worth it.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
